Did you get your wish?

Think Critically, Speak Thoughtfully

Let Clarity Be Your Goal

Wishes may be best left unspoken!

 "The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak."

Hans Hofmann

If you are a true student of history then you should be able to read the handwriting on the wall. If not, don't say that no one tried to warn you. For months now I have been speaking out about the possibility of damage that could be done by a return to office of the "dear leader". Well as of Tuesday this week that fear has been realized! You closed your eyes to the damage done during his first administration, now you will need to open them to the truth  of his second.

You falsely believed that he was the one who strengthened the economy. You sat back and watched a million of our fellow citizens die needlessly due to his mismanagement of the covid crisis; while he made a joke out of it and the people who were trying to save lives. He asked "What was in it for them" when speaking about the brave men and women who have died in service of something greater than themselves. He called the heroes who served our country "Losers and suckers" for sacrificing their well-being and their very lives for our country. 

The reality has become that those of us who have faithfully served our country, many of whom have died in that defense, have been left believing that we have wasted those years of service; the heroes who were awarded the nations highest honor for their service were stupid for serving and risking their lives for something greater. In his words the medal of freedom awarded by him to people for doing nothing more than putting money in his pockets at no personal risk to themselves is better than a medal for true heroism!

Now he says he wants generals like those who served Hitler. He may want to be careful what he wishes for, some of those gentlemen tried on numerous occasions to assassinate him! I guess he never paid attention on the days they studied WWII in his history classes! Watch and see the character of the people he will surround himself with in his next administration, there will be no safeguards to protect us from him. The time has come to ask yourself how safe you will feel under his leadership. Remember the names of Chairman Mao, Josef Stalin, Adolph Hitler, Kim Il Sung, and countless others who destroyed the lives of the people in their own country for their own benefit.

Feel free to keep your heads buried in the sand, just don't think that you are ever truly safe from attack. The minute he thinks that someone is a threat to his security he will turn on them. Mr. Vance, my advice to you would be to sleep with both eyes open, remember that you are next in line for his office, which will, or could eventually lead him to look at you as the first threat he faces, remember dictators don't like to "share" power. 

Sycophants of his such as Elon Musk, members of his own cabinet and Congress could also find themselves in the cross-hairs; quite literally. He has already called for the deaths of his political rivals, I don't believe he was speaking facetiously, and you probably shouldn't either. In the past two weeks he mused about nine guns being pointed at the head of Liz Cheney, for doing nothing but standing up for the Constitution, you do remember that document, right? It is the founding principle of this nation. I fear it may soon be rendered obsolete.

On 17 September 1787 a woman named Elizabeth Willing Powel approached Benjamin Franklin asking him "Well, Doctor, what have we got, a republic or a monarchy?" To Which Mr. Franklin replied "A republic, if you can keep it." The connotation of this statement is that maintaining our republic will require a level of vigilance and maintenance that is very difficult to maintain. If the next administration is anywhere near as toxic as Project 2025 suggests it will be, the death of America is certain. 

Should this prove to be the case, you cannot say that you weren't warned and each of you won't have anyone to blame but yourselves. I pity the choices that you made which brought you to these realities, but I will have no remorse for the consequences you may suffer as a result of them. These consequences will be suffered by everyone simply because of your shortsightedness. I will pray for you but by then I fear it may be too late to do any good. After all, he told you what he had planned; and you followed blindly along, believing that those consequences would be suffered by everyone else, just not you.

The tariffs he announced, those will reach into your pockets as well! You were warned. Nationwide abortion bans that will cost the lives of women with pregnancy complications will continue to happen. You were warned. Rounding up of "political enemies" could mean you. Don't say you weren't warned! Destruction of the Constitution, guess what? You were warned about that as well!

So in closing I say unto you, I hope you got everything you wished for, but you should have been more careful about it.

Food for thought, spread out for the mentally starving. Good luck, we are all going to need it. Peace is a dream fading into the mist.

Afterthought:

Watch out for your friends and family members who run afoul of the designs of the dear leader. When they start to disappear and you don't know why look no farther than the man you voted for. 

Friends and family members, consider whether certain members of your family could quite possibly be more loyal to the dear leader than they are to their own families. Danger could be closer than you think. The reasons for these betrayals could be as simple as a difference of opinion about religion, or reality. Misinformation and disinformation are simply fancy words for lies! Close your eyes to these facts at your own peril.

Do you have friends, or perhaps family members in the LGBTQ+ community? If the dear leader has his way these people will begin to disappear, possibly even starting with the first transgender member of congress. Will that even bother you when it happens?

This may hurt

On your feet or on your knees?

How have you chosen to live your life?

How will you choose to meet your end?

"This is the end Beautiful friend, This is the end my only friend the end.

Of our elaborate plans, the end, of everything that stands, the end

No safety or surprise, the end, I'll never look into your eyes again."

The Doors: The End

How long have I lived? Long enough to remember the assassinations of four of the great men in our recent history. John F. Kennedy, assassinated by  Lee Harvey Oswald 1963. Malcolm X, assassinated by Thomas Hagan, in 1965, Martin Luther King Jr. assassinated by James Earl Ray in 1968. Robert F. Kennedy, assassinated by Sirhan Sirhan also in 1968. While it is true that it is impossible for me to "remember" the assassination of John F. Kennedy I was alive at the time of his death, and the question linking all of these deaths is; How different would America be if they had been allowed to fulfill the promise of their lives? Sadly we will never know!

Each of these men of promise died while standing for something important, John Kennedy died for the promise of what was to come. Malcolm died because of the belief that things could change for the better in a religious system without the hatred of that systems leader Elijah Muhammad. Reverend King died because he sought change in the belief that all men were created equal and deserved equal rights in America. Robert Kennedy died for trying to make the dreams of the three others a reality while at the same time attempting to end an unpopular and divisive war in Vietnam. At least that is how I see it. In short, they died on their feet fighting for a cause that should be just as important today as it was in 1968.

Sadly today in America we have a supposed "leader" who stands only for his own well being, and to divide the nation. His cynical system of belief that holds the idea that men are superior to women (misogyny), he promotes fear of others because of skin tone (xenophobia), derision because of a difference in religious beliefs (theophobia) this one I find ironic because he seems to have no particular religious beliefs of his own, except maybe the religion of money over God. If you don't believe me, take the time to listen to one of his speeches, they tend to come from the not too distant past and could have easily been written by Adolph Hitler. 

In many of his diatribes he has called for the imprisonment of his rivals, and in some cases their public executions. I have said this before, but I believe it bears repeating, how long will it be before he runs out of "real" enemies and turns his focus to the people who support him? Paranoia is something that all autocrats eventually fall prey to, Hitler saw shadows behind every curtain, his closest generals were to become suspect of seeking power by usurpation. Likewise Stalin was so fearful of his generals the he held a purge to eliminate many of the strongest among them. Consider the current Russian dictator Putin, when he addresses his visitors they sit at one end of a long table while they sit far enough away that they practically need to yell to be heard by him. Kim Jong Un is so fearful that he keeps his own family at arms length, and has assassinated his own uncle simply because he wouldn't applaud "appropriately" at the end of his speeches.

The individual running for autocrat here in America cannot articulate an idea without falling off track into a meaningless word salad which later leads his followers to try and "sanewash" his senile ramblings into something that makes sense. Often without a real answer to the question  of "what did he say?" When confronted by a difficult subject he reverts to lies in order to attempt a distraction from the fact that he has no idea how to address the problem he faces. Which is what led to his falling on an internet rumor about one ethnic group eating the pets of their neighbors during his debate with Kamala Harris. Sad as it may seem, Donald Trump is now the person whose sanity and intellect is now, or should be under suspicion as it was with President Biden. So why has this not happened? I honestly believe it revolves around the fear of his wrath. He has managed to get his supporters to live on their knees because of their fear of standing on their feet and telling him the truth!

Consider this: Mr. Trump through many of his rants has complained about such ideas as his political opponent stealing the 2020 election. Look at his actions on 6 January  2021 and be honest with yourselves, did he or did he not amp up those who came to the will be wild rally in Washington D.C. and send them to the Capital building in an attempt to stop the certification of the election? Honestly, if the election was stolen from him where is the proof he has claimed to have? No one but him has "seen" any "proof", even his own lawyer Rudy Giuliani stated that "We have lots of theories, but we just don't have  the evidence" in a conversation with Rusty Bowers. So, riddle me this, theories but no evidence, who was the person truly trying to steal the election?

The technical term for this in psychology class is called projection, Webster's dictionary definition in part reads as follows "the externalization of blame, guilt, or responsibility as a defense against anxiety." In other words projection is the psychological impulse to project onto other people what you are actually feeling. He falsely blamed President Biden for trying to steal a free and fair election. In 2016 after asking Russia to find Hillary Clinton's emails, Trump claimed that the only collusion was "by crooked Hillary and the democrats." A more recent example is  "the one who's got the problem is Biden, because if you look at what Biden did, Biden did what they would like to have me do except there's one problem; I didn't do it." He has also  called his two most recent political opponents "the most corrupt candidate ever." Calling Hillary Clinton a "bigot". Which is ironic when you consider the fact that he and his father were found guilty of unfair practices in failing to rent apartments to people of color in the 1970s. The list of his projections is endless so I will stop here.

Suffice it to say, that Mr. Trump is perhaps the most unstable individual to ever run for the office of president. And by  many accounts he is wholly unfit to hold the office now or at any time in the future. As is the case with all of my entries I speak only for myself, but in this case I find it hard to believe that there is no on else out there who doesn't see  this in a similar manner, yet may be too afraid or apprehensive to voice their opinion. 

Food for thought, if you are hungry. Peace

Afterthought:

Know this, I will stand on my feet before any man and speak truth to their perceived power, and if you catch me on my knees it is because I am praying to God for the salvation of my soul and quite possibly yours as well.

Good luck, and God bless

One question! Why? repeatedly

What is it that you are afraid to talk about?

There are some subjects that are "taboo" why is that?

A wise man once quipped: "If someone must run their brain in neutral, you should probably be wise enough to turn off the sound."

G.L. Wilcox

Are you a sports fan? Are you afraid to show your pride in those teams? Are you afraid to talk about those same teams? Why would this be the case I wonder? While sports can be divisive and may lead to arguments, I don't think it is too likely to cause any real damage to anything other than your pride if those teams seem most likely to find ways to snatch defeat out of the mouth of victory. I am a fan of the Atlanta Braves, Kansas City Chiefs, and Army college football just to name a few, and have been for more years than I care to admit being around. Granted the Army cadets at West Point aren't really expected to have stellar records, but I am still a fan. If you are thinking that I am a bandwagon jumper, let me put that to rest with the following statement. I have been a fan of both of the pro sports teams listed above since the late 1960's and have stuck with them when they were the worst teams in their respective sports. I was proud to proclaim my support for both no matter where they were and are in their relative divisions and sports. While it may not be popular it is your right to speak your mind, just be careful not to proclaim their greatness when none has been evident in the near past. Believe in your teams, but do so wisely. Just remember that in the grand scheme of things this means absolutely nothing, it is merely a distraction from the things that do.

Now onto the more important things of life:

How about equality? Whether the equality in question is between ethnic groups, sexes, pay scales, or wherever the inequality exists. Again, it is okay to speak about these things, however, make sure you know what you are trying to say. Personally I believe that there is no ethnic group that is any better than another. There are some truly remarkable people in all groups, on the other side there are those that can make you wonder how they remember to breathe without prompting. Life is hard enough as it is, why make it any more difficult for others to thrive no matter what the profession they choose to enter into or their life's situation. I give massive respect for the women's national soccer team in getting a more equal share of revenue derived from sales of merchandise, or ticket sales to see the team they are supporting. I was one who supported women in military jobs that were typically male oriented and dominated, my theory was if they can hack it let them pack it! And I still support that idea. Just remember thinking before you speak is very important. Stereotyping is never a wise idea, it not only makes a person look foolish, but also determines how seriously you may be taken by others.

Are you afraid to address injustice in the world? Why? This should be something that should be addressed with boldness. However, we should remember that true justice is in the hands of the maker and finisher of all things, God. We can call out the person who denies housing to those in need simply because of the color of their skin. We should speak out against those who call for an unjust action to be taken against the innocent. We should hold to account those among us who stretch out their hands to do harm to their neighbors, or those in their own dwellings. BUT, we should leave vengeance up to the Lord!

Yes, if you are guilty you should be held to account for your actions by a jury of your peers. However, once found guilty the individual(s) should not be allowed to abuse the justice system by filing frivolous appeals in the hope of getting a just verdict overturned. Does this seem fair to you?

What about world leaders? Are they somehow more equal than their citizens? Should they be allowed to say things that put others in the paths of danger and go unpunished? Why are some allowed to deny the wishes of the people who put them in power when they decide that this is not the type of leadership they want? Yet here in America we have people in leadership positions who have made comments like "Some people just need killing" from behind the pulpit of a church. "Fight like hell or you won't have a country left" while addressing an angry mob who has bought into the lies of the speaker. Recently someone running for our highest office has used a statement that is very similar to one used by an historical figure who went on to unjustly murder millions simply because they believed differently than him. Don't for one second think that this individual is any different from Adolph Hitler! His rhetoric comes almost word for word from Adolph's manifesto Mein Kampf. 

Trump's lie about migrants "poisoning the blood of our country" should put those of us who believe in America as a melting pot on alert. Illegal immigration began on the shores of North America when the Roanoke colony was founded in 1585, but it was not until 1620 that settlers landed in Plymouth, in what would become the Massachusetts Colony that it became a problem for the indigenous tribes already living here. The question now becomes why did they leave their home nations? The short and most accurate reason for the French, English and others to come to North America is for religious freedom as an escape from the persecution that was happening all over Europe. Granted some came searching for gold and the other riches of the earth, but for many it was to be able to worship God the way they wanted.

What about the justice system? Should our leaders be allowed to stack federal courts with judges who, should they find themselves run afoul of the rule of law, intervene on their behalf and deny justice when justice is due? Should we not speak out about corruption when it is uncovered, even at the highest levels no matter who it is related to?  Who among us should be above the law? In the courts of heaven the answer to that question has a simple answer, NO ONE! Why should it be any different here on earth? Why are so many afraid to call out the courts for the biased and misguided rulings they have put forth over the past few years. If you fear your government vote to make changes. The truth of the matter is that our government should work for us, not us for our government. That was the intention of our founders, yet, this corrupted court works for the betterment of one man, or so it seems.

And finally I come to something that should matter to all Christians, religious leadership. The foolish man sets himself in the place of the God of heaven and claims the powers of God as well as the right to speak as God. Evangelical Christians appear to have forgotten two simple statements made in a book they claim to revere, the Bible. God says that we are to hate the sin for it is an abomination to Him. Yet, Jesus told us that we are to Love God with all our hearts, mind and strength, and to love our neighbor as our self. Leave the judgement up to God. He and He alone is the one who determines our fates. Remember "Judgement is mine sayeth the Lord, I will repay." Deuteronomy 32:35 Romans 17:19

Why have you not spoken out against the leader of a religious system that has corrupted the word of God? If you study the Bible from cover to cover you should realize one plain and simple fact, there is absolutely NO justification for the elimination of the second commandment which reads "Thou shalt not make unto the any graven, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them nor serve them.  For I the Lord your God an a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto of them that love me and keep my commandments." Exodus 20:4-6 

By the elimination of the Second commandment this moved the tow subsequent commandments up with the fourth now becoming the third commandment which in it's original form reads "Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labor and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day, and hallowed it." Exodus 20:8-11

According to the Catholic Catechism the fourth became the third and now reads as follows "Remember the sabbath day to keep it holy." Exodus 20:8 Vastly different and as such shortens the original in an effort to delete the majority of the commandment given by God. And by which by the decree of the Roman Emperor Constantine the Great in 321 AD changed the sabbath day to Sunday essentially doing away with God's Sabbath which was written in stone by His own finger. God says remember, have you ever wondered why someone wants us to forget? Think about it.

Thus was the need for alteration of the 10th commandment into two separate "laws". This commandment went from "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbors."  Exodus 20:17 The ninth commandment became "thou shalt not covet ty neighbor's wife." Exodus 20:17 first sentence abridged.  Making the tenth "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's." Exodus 20:17 completion.

This is not an indictment of the people in the Catholic religion. Rather, it is an indictment of the leaders of the church, who throughout history have not disavowed these changes. Instead they have continuously endorsed them. There are true believers in all faiths who have not received all truth from their denominational leadership, and they soon shall be called to come out of their false systems of belief.

If you wish to find God's true last day remnant church look for the one that keeps all 10 of God's commandments. Read the Ten commandments in Exodus chapter 20 to prove me right or wrong. However to prove me wrong means that you will have to prayerfully study the entire Bible from Genesis chapter 1 through Revelation chapter 22 and show me the absolute proof that God, not man, changed the Sabbath day. Malachi 3:6 says clearly that "I am the Lord, I change not." This is the verse that proves me out, let me know if you find one that changes this!

Food for thought, if you are hungry. Peace

Afterthought:

It is the foolish man who stands and thinks to speak as God. The wise man knows that God speaks for himself, but will, through the words of the Bible point the way to the truths in the Bible. There is no righteousness in man of his own doing, however, we can come closer to righteousness by following the teaching of Jesus and the words of God. May God bless you and keep you until the day of His soon return.

History time

 Freedom, But At What Cost?

Looking back, into the future.

Time keeps on slipping into the future

                                                        Steve Miller Band

Throughout the courses of human history man has striven to be free. When man was created by God he was made a free moral agent. Adam and Eve were given the choice to live in the light and love of His presence, or to fall victim to the deceptions of evil. Yes, there were rules to follow, but these were in place for their benefit, not to hold them back from freedom.

Temptation has existed as long as has man. Satan who was once an esteemed member of the heavenly host fell from grace simply by deceiving himself. He lost the freedom to live in heaven and took one third of the angels of heaven with him in his fall from grace. It was through his words that our first parents were deceived into eating of the tree of knowledge. And things have only gotten worse since.

Moving forward to the nation of Israel, who was in the beginning to be the anointed nation of God for all time. Throughout the books of the Old Testament in the Bible God's prophets spoke through divine inspiration about the coming Messiah who was to save them from the oppression of the then ruling power of Rome. However, when the foretold Messiah did come he was rejected by them simply because He did not come in the power and glory that they expected.

As a result, Jesus was betrayed by one of his disciples to the leaders of the faith. Placed under arrest Jesus and subjected to a trial for blasphemy he spoke not a word, not of denial or of confirmation of the charges. Eventually He was turned over to Pilate who sent him to the governor Herod, who only sent Jesus back to Pilate for determination of his fate. 

When the Jews were confronted by Pilate about Jesus being the king of the Jews the crowd responded with the cry of "We have no king but Caesar. In a effort to absolve himself of guilt he sought to bargain with the crowd. This came in the form of releasing a prisoner from custody, as was the custom before the feast of Passover. The Romans had In their custody a man named Barabas the offer was made to release either Jesus or Barabas, the crowd chose the latter. When asked what they should do with Jesus the answer was "Crucify Him".

The debate has long since raged about who was responsible for the death of the worlds Savior. I submit that the primary responsibility belongs more to the crowd than to the Romans for the plea of crucifixion, but for the act of crucifying an innocent man the guilt falls on the shoulders of Pilate and the Romans. Neither side has clean hands in this event.

Fast forward again to the rule of Papal Rome and the persecution of the Christians. It was during this period that the ""new" world was "discovered". The problem here was that there were already people who were inhabiting this region. Called "first nations" by the people of what would eventually become Canada, Indians and savages by the settlers of lower north America, and indigenous by the more "enlightened" of the time Europeans sought freedom from the oppression of the church of Rome.

So they abandoned their native lands and came to America. Keeping in mind that the people of north, central and south America were already free the newcomers sought at first to coexist with the natives. Blankets were given to the tribes in the northwest as a token of friendship. Unbeknownst to the new arrivals the natives had never been exposed to the diseases of the white man. The result was almost complete eradication of some tribes due to smallpox. Oops?

The first slaves that were brought to these shores were called indentured servants. These were people who signed a contract, or indenture, to serve someone for a period of time in exchange for something. In the case of passage to and cost of expenses this could lead to terms of service far in excess of the original agreement. Essentially this was unpaid labor, slavery.

So what happened to the natives? It only takes a minute to see that they were subjected to the humiliation of being forced or tricked to move from their home territories. Research the "trail of tears" if you need proof. The island of Manhattan was purchased at the cost of a few beads. Movement of the natives placed them in the "care" of the government on reservations. Many were mistreated to the point of starvation and death. The loss of their heritage and identity came as a result of the whites trying to "assimilate" them into a new society that they were never accepted into. The irony here is that the people who were here first were the last to receive citizenship.

The new era of cruelty came as the result of kidnapping people from African nations to be transported around the world and sold as property to people of European ancestry to work in cotton, tobacco or other labor intensive crop growth. Granted most slave owners didn't have large numbers of slaves, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that even the founders owned slaves despite the declaration of independence clearly stating that "all men are created equal"

The treatment of those who came under the majority of their "owners" was far from humane. torture by the lash, rape, the destruction of the family unit by selling children away from parents, and wives away from husbands was normal. For those who tried to escape their "masters" were punished by whipping or disfigurement. Those who were lucky enough to be successful would sometimes return to help others wanting freedom. 

The Chinese who were working on the railroads were seen as extremely expendable. Sometimes for no other reason than the enjoyment of their taskmaster. Have you ever heard the phrase "not a China man's chance", this particular saying came into being because Chinese workers were sometimes lowered over the edges of cliffs to blast holes for anchor points for the bridges that would span gaps in the land. When the dynamite charges were set the whites who were pulling them back to the top of the cliff would be so slow in raising the basket that the charges would explode and kill the worker, hence the saying.

These are just a few examples of our nations cruelty. I don't expect you to take my word for it. Please feel free to seek the truth for your own satisfaction. Should you find that I am in error post a comment and explain how I am wrong. I can only increase my knowledge by the expansion of yours.

Food for thought, that is if you are hungry. Peace

Checked and balanced

 Life, the never ending wheel.

How does a person deal with misfortune?

Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin', don't know where I'll be tomorrow

       Ooh, the wheel in the sky keeps turnin', wheel in the sky keeps on turnin'

                                                                                            Journey

During my reserve duty, I wound up doing another kind of service. I served time in jail for an attempted robbery. Not my wisest choice. I was discharged from the reserves under less than honorable conditions, obviously. But like all things in life this was a learning experience for me. I learned that there was another type of service, one that brought me into contact with a higher power. Prior to going to jail I got too heavily involved with drinking and smoking marijuana which lead to my poor decisions and jail. 

While in jail someone gave me a King James Bible. I have touched on this in a previous entry, but here I will expand on that mention. I had never been one to take any type of religion seriously. I had attended Baptist, Mormon, Methodist and even a few Catholic churches, but never really understood what it was all about. My grandparents on my fathers side were protestants, not that I fully understood what that was all about. My mothers side of the family were all Seventh-day Adventists, in full disclosure my mother had fallen away from the religion some years prior. So I had an idea what religion was about, but not enough at that time to seek it our for myself.

That Bible sat on a shelf, by itself, for a few weeks with me telling myself that I should read it, and silently promising myself that I would. But when? And for What? Did I really want to learn about God? These were the questions that I asked myself and had to answer before I could commit myself to opening the Word of God. When eventually became now. What for was answered by to learn about what had been missing from my life. Did I really want to learn about God was a definitive YES! And so I began to read, the more I read the more I wanted to learn. The more I learned the more aware I became of a higher service I could offer to my fellow man. I read a book I had been avoiding to that point, all of my life never knowing what I had been missing out on.

Once I was released from jail the old habits kicked back in and what I had been so excited about fell by the wayside. Every once in a while I would get the feeling that I was not being real with myself in how I was living. I found an unsatisfying job, was still in an unhappy marriage, but I was attending college with the goal of getting an associates degree in psychology so I could help others. The idea of being able to help myself was not in the forefront of my mind. Not that if it had been I would have had any idea how to do so. All of this while playing weekend warrior at a different level.

When my marriage finally fell apart I went back to Missouri, found refuge in my parents house, got a job that made me happy and kept me busy enough to stay sober. But I still felt there was something missing. Moms stroke and dads heart attack in such close time proximity, not to mention a failed attempt at resurrecting a marriage that never should have happened brought the family to one inevitable decision, we needed God in our lives. Mom found and started attending an Adventist church, and decided to take Bible studies. She asked dad and I both to join her, and so it began.

Some 20 weeks later mom and I were baptized, dad for some reason held off on this particular commitment, but began attending church with us. In 1991 I began seriously reading the Bible again, this time with the intention of learning more about the will of God for my life. By this time my sole surviving grandparents health had taken a serious slide down hill. The decision was made to move to Florida and help out with his care as best we could. 

My Bible reading continued, another Bible seminar was being taught and dad, mom and I attended faithfully. By the end of this seminar dad had made his decision that he wanted to be baptized, but he was going to wait until we were back home. My fathers youngest brother passed away and mom and dad when to attend the funeral. While they were home dad got baptized into the Independence Seventh-day Adventist church. I missed it because I had to stay in Florida to not only keep a job that was helping me stay afloat financially but also to care for gramps. 

When my family finally met the woman I was dating, my grandfather in his wisdom made the comment "there is Charles' next wife". I wasn't divorced from my then wife and neither was Sue, but he was entitled to his opinion. A few weeks later I got divorce papers in the mail from my soon to be ex, so I signed and returned them as soon as was humanly possible. I guess she found someone who could supply her with what she felt she needed. Best wishes! Seriously.

What had attracted Sue to me was the way I acted, to begin with I was so mild mannered and calm that she thought I was gay. She knew that I was an Adventist but for some reason couldn't make the connection between religion and my actions. We started going out for coffee after work, and it progressed rapidly from there. In reality my backslide from my religion started right there. I was still attending church, but it was somehow different and I knew it.

Gramps died, and Sue got robbed while at work, and my life became a jumbled mess. In May of 1992 we packed up the belonging of her and her girls as well as mine and moved to Missouri. I found work and Sue went into rehab for the injury she suffered as a result of the robbery. Along the way she was diagnosed with PTSD and bipolar disorder and was put on medications as treatment. 

When mom and dad returned from Florida after settling the estate Sue, the girls and I all began taking Bible studies. This meant that I would once again need to quit smoking cigarettes, as would she. Sue and the girls got baptized and as a complete family we began attending church. Dad and mom found an apartment in Blue Springs so we took over the house. Things went sideways and they moved back in and the living arrangements changed somewhat. No big problem there. Our family moved into the basement, Mom and dad had the upstairs.

The topic of divorce arose as it applied to Sue and her future ex-husband, she had been wanting a divorce but we could never get the money together to pay for it. Parents to the rescue. They paid for the divorce on the condition that when the settlement from the personal injury case came in from the robbery we would pay them back for it. Done deal. Sue got the settlement, my parents got the money we owed them, and 90 days later we got married. Summer vacation from school came and we took some of the money and went to Disney World for two weeks. 

When we got home we moved out of the house into a place of our own and the girls went back to school. Sue went to work for Wendy's in Lee's Summit and I went to work for the one in Raytown, she as an assistant manager and me as a crew member eventually working my way into the position of shift manager, all of the headaches, none of the benefits.

Dad broke his hip and was taken to the hospital. None of us expected the outcome of this injury. Dad died the next day from a blood clot that they missed and as a result it broke off and caused his heart to fail. There were other mitigating medical problems but the clot was the primary cause of death. I am not ashamed to admit that my father was and still is my hero. 

His service to this country through three wars, led him to serve God through the rest of his life. His death in 1994 really hit me hard, as did the death of my mother in 2001, I believe my mom's death was caused by loneliness, dad was the love of her life. My faith in God helped me get through both losses. This is not to say that I don't miss my parents, I do, and I think about them every day. The only real regrets I have in life is that I was not there when either one of them passed. I guess it was for the best, I have as my last memories of both the way they were happy and alive.

I find peace in knowing that all of my relatives who have passed on are neither in hell nor in Heaven. All are resting in peace in their graves awaiting the return of Jesus. Some will find that they have been called to everlasting life, sadly, others will not be  so fortunate. I understand that some day I may be called to defend my faith in the courts of men, and that through my faith in Christ as my savoir and redeemer I will be assured of my place in His kingdom. I pray for strength daily to face the coming of the tyranny that those of us who believe will be forced to stand in defiance of. 

Even so Lord Jesus come. May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with all the saints. Amen.

Food for thought, that is if you are hungry. Peace